Ten Indications that I May be Obsessed with Harry Potter

1. While scrubbing potatoes last night, I was tempted to try a nice “Scourgify” spell.

2. I walked around with “Weasley is our King” (the Gryffindor version, of course!) stuck in my head all day yesterday.

3. While getting ready this morning, my husband, totally out of the blue, asked me, “So everyone knows that he is back now, right?” And I totally knew he was talking about Voldemort.

4. After dinner last night the conversation turned to how many O.W.L.s we thought Harry would get this summer.

5. I have actually dreamt about the long corridor that leads to the Department of Mysteries.

6. I check J.K. Rowling’s site daily to look for updates, information, and of course, to see if the door is open.

7. I think to myself “what a Muggle” when someone doesn’t know what I am talking about.

8. Whenever someone says “I have a few things to say.” I always think “Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!”

9. I have had a Harry Potter party and created my own recipes for Butterbeer, Pumpkin Pasties, Cauldron Cakes, Cockroach Clusters, and Chocolate Frogs. Mmmmmmm!

10. I have July 16th marked on the calendar and there is to be NOTHING planned that entire weekend. (If you have to ask why, you clearly are not obsessed with Harry Potter….)

Things actually said over dinner last night

“We clutter, but don’t leave CRAP around.”

“They put it in the Golden Girls time slot. But I am totally down with the Golden.”

“You know I still whore it up.”

“Me and my red face are going to get our Fluff somewhere else.”

“That is the second time in two days someone has said ‘shat.'”

“You got that bitch good…..well, you got the wrong bitch.”

“If I act upset, they will think I am on meth!”

“People die around me all the time.”

“Was he wearing an eye patch and/or missing fingers?”

“I saw a piece of my crotch in a vile once.”

“I dreamt that my teeth fell out last night….but you don’t need teeth to drink beer!”

“I don’t like ’em firm. I like ’em squishy!”

“I am a not-workaholic.”

“Slacking is an art form.”

“I didn’t start pitching tents until I was 12 or 13.”

“We totally slept in his car. How ghetto camping is that?”

“You guys are talking about horrible things and body parts that I am not suppose to think about.”

“I write daily on my blog about my VAGINA. You don’t get any more personal than that. LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT!”

“Once. Just once. Ok maybe five times.”

“Oh honey your balls aren’t smellin’ so good.”

“The Muffin and I decided if Buddy could talk, he would have a Southern accent. On account of his cow like spots.”
“Yeah, cause cows are southern and all.”

“It was like a cat and a poodle. A Cadoodle!!”

“I got my B.A. in ‘Freak!'”

“I was an economic anorexic. So I can empathize.”

“He said, ‘What a nice pink vagina you have.’ As opposed to what? ‘My! What a black and crusty vagina you have.'”

*Sigh*

How is it only 2:42pm? I ask you that!

This day has been draggin’ ass and I can’t seem to get it to pick up the pace. All I know is there is something in the air that has made everyone, um, different and I don’t know why. Is there a full moon? Are the tides high (or low)? Am I emitting negative pheromones? *sigh* I may never know….

Thinking…

…that no matter how old I am, 4/20
will always make me giggle. Ahh the simple things in life.

…that in light of the beautiful weather forecast I wore a skirt today. So help me if Andy Carson is wrong I am gonna freeze my ass off.

…that referring to certain sections of the office as “The Black Hole” and “The Sunshine Room” may sound appropriate now, but in the dead of summer I think “The Comfortable Cooler ” and “The Oven of Hell” are going to be more fitting.

…that today is Simeon’s first day to drive my new car unattended. He better realize I will notice if he has been doing unacceptable activities. Oh yeah, and I have the mileage memorized, mister!

Emily’s First Communion

Over the past weekend my niece, who also happens to be my god-daughter, celebrated her First Communion. So the family all got together to celebrate Emily’s accomplishments and this next milestone in her life.

Rude Awakening

Last night just after 12:30pm, a good two hours after I had fallen asleep, I was awaken by the ringing of my cell phone. Now I am not sure about you guys, but when my phone rings in the middle of the night, my brain instantly thinks EMERGENCY. Simeon jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to where our cell phones are plugged in, just in time for the caller to hang up. Simeon said it was Darcie, my little sister. He instinctually tried to call her back and didn’t get through. So we waited several minutes to see if she was leaving me a voicemail and then tried to call her again. Still no answer. I am now wide awake and envisioning my sister seriously injured, trying to get help and in calling me, failed to contact anyone. My heart started pounding, my mind was racing. Do I call my mom, who at least lives in the same town as my sister, to drive over and check on her? Do I call 911? Do I just sit and wait to see if my phone will ring again?

I finally decided to lay back down in bed, but set my cell phone on my nightstand in case she called back. Minutes later my phone lit up and rang again. I sat straight up in bed and answered the phone:

“Hello?!?”
Silence.

“Darcie? Are you there?”

Through the static I could barely make out: “Carrie?”
My sister sounded like she had been crying.

“Darcie are you ok?”

She sniffed. She had obviously been crying. “I’m ok. I just wanted to tell you….” Her phone cut out and all I could hear was the word “DIED.”

“What did you say? Your phone keeps cutting out. Who died?!?”

I made out something that sounded like “John.”

“John? Who is John?”
My brain was frantically thinking of every John I know and I was coming up with nothing.

“No. GERON. He died.”

Geron. I hadn’t heard that name in at least six years. My mind flashed over hundreds of memories from middle school and high school. Geron was a guy I dated. My friend Leslie and I went back and forth over which one of us liked him more. There were many a lunch hour spent in the bathroom crying over Geron.

“Geron died? Where are you? Stop moving your phone keeps cutting out!”

“I’m in Seaside. I’m at a bar and I’m NOT moving.”

“So are you ok? What happened?”

“I don’t know. Some people here just told me and I thought I should call you. Something about the bridge.”
“The bridge? Which bridge?”

I started picturing all the bridges in Seaside. But this didn’t make any sense. All the bridges in Seaside are tiny and I couldn’t imagine how a bridge would kill anyone.

“In Astoria. I don’t know. They think he killed himself.”

The words rang out in my ears. I heard her talking but I couldn’t make sense of it anymore. Why would anyone that I know kill themself? We are 24 FUCKING years old. What could possibly have happened that was so terrible that someone would want to kill themselves?

“I’m sorry Care. I don’t know anything more. All I know is he is dead.”

“Ok. Thanks for calling. Let me know if you find out anything more.”

The line went quiet. The call was lost. I looked over at the clock and it was almost 1am. How the hell was I suppose to fall asleep after that? I told Simeon what Darcie has just told me and he laid down to go back to sleep. I stared at the clock. Moments later I could hear Simeon sleeping. My brain started sorting through all the people in my class who have died. For as young as I am, the handful I could think of are far too many. At this point, I don’t know how I feel about things. I am angry, confused, sad, and mostly just stunned.

Happy fucking Monday everyone.

Weekend Painting Project

Inspired by Peggy and all her home improvements, Simeon and I decided to paint the laundry room over the weekend. Well it’s more than just the laundry room, it’s also the half-bath off of the family room, as well as the dog’s room (after all it does have the doggy-door for them to easily get outside).

As you all know, I am a fanatic cleaner and cannot stand mess, dirt, untidiness, or anything of the sort. Well this room in the holy embodiment of dirty. I am constantly scrubbing, sterilizing, cleansing, and mopping. With the dogs and the insane amount of rain (and therefore mud) we have in Oregon, I am always cleaning this area. Luckily, we close the door during the daytime so the mess is totally contained to this room. Then when we come home we clean off the pups and allow them into the rest of the house. This way they can come in out of the rain or go outside and play. I just want them to be happy.

Since this room was totally white, I was the one who wasn’t happy. And neither were my arms from all the wall scrubbing. So I decided to paint the walls a dark grayish brown color that matched the puppy paw prints I had stenciled around the room. I thought it would be too dark to paint the entire room that color, so we decided to paint about three feet high.

Well here it is in all its glory. I think it turned out really great. It’s just enough color that any speck of dirt doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb, yet it still keeps the room from looking/feeling like a cave. Oh and the dogs really like it too. I mean they haven’t stopped wagging their tails since we painted it. And that must be because of the room, right? Right?

The next project will have to be to replace the while linoleum, but we will take it one thing at a time. All the before and after pictures are in the Paint Project photo gallery. Oh and I uploaded the pictures of the new bedding for the daybed as well.

For Nick

This is an actual comment I read on a site in response to a comment posted by “Blackninja.” I thought it was hilarious and I wanted to share:

“Blackninja should not be so intolerant, seeing as he is both black and (more importantly) a ninja. How’d you like it if some dude walked up to you and started saying, ‘Ooh, you ninjas with your frickin’ throwing stars, get a life! Real men fight in the open! Go back to feudal Japan, you sword-swinging jackass!'”

To Do List

Things I Need to Do

  • Refill Sim’s prescriptions
  • Renew library books online
  • Upload the pictures I took of the bedding Heather helped me pick out for the daybed in the office
  • Snuggle into my husband some more so I can smell him (I just bought him some Clinique Happy for Men and it is TO DIE FOR!)
  • Email all my (local) friends to see who is coming over for dinner tonight
  • Rearrange my garage so my new car can fit inside (Currently, there is about an inch in front and two inches in the back, so the garage door barely closes. Oh and the passenger has to go around before we close the garage door to actually get in the house)
  • Upload the pictures I took of our weekend painting project (we did the laundry/half bath/dog room)
  • Find a cute lavender button-up shirt. (I have really been wanting to wear more lavender lately, after all it is spring)
  • Get groceries at Albertson’s while the South Beach lunches are still on sale
  • Find a “First Communion” card for my niece
  • Take our wedding rings in to be cleaned
  • Install our new closet organizer in the office
  • Finish listening to/re-reading all the Harry Potter books before the new one comes out on July 16th
  • Find time to sleep