Happy Admin Day!

Today is Administrative Professional’s Day and as I am an “Administrative Professional” that means today we celebrate ME. (Don’t you dare call me a secretary or I will hunt you down.) My boss, always worried about being the last to recognize special occasions, left my gift on my desk where I would be sure to find it first thing this morning. Being the lovely man that he is, he gave me a sweet card an a gift certificate for an hour long massage. I am totally loving him today because how great does an hour long massage sound about now? Sounds purrrrrfect.

Being an administrative assistant is filled with many tasks such as taking care of every teeny tiny detail (with perfection, mind you), handling any crisis that should arise (with a smile!), and most importantly managing the calendar. The calendar is responsible for informing my boss of such occasions as birthdays, anniversaries and yes, even Administrative Professional’s Day.

In fact, the first year that I worked for my boss he had put the date in the calendar himself, but being male, he entered it on the wrong date. As the actual date approached, I noticed the error and corrected it as quickly as possible to avoid the shame of being the only assistant to not have their boss acknowledge the day. Actually it was more to avoid my boss being embarrassed because really I wouldn’t have cared…well, not too much. As he realized his error and what it would have meant had I not corrected it, he promptly made sure that I knew I was solely responsible for making sure that Administrative Professional’s Day was always in the calendar. And on the right day.

You better believe I have upheld my end of the arrangement.

We have pictures, people! Pictures!

Well my mood is definitely much better now. The husband, he knows how to make me happy. (Just give me something I have been asking for, duh!) Here are the much anticipated Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival Pictures.

Tulips are my absolute favorite flower. Firstly, for their appearance. They are so amazingly simple, yet stunning. I love the clean lines, the lack of any obnoxious smell or violent thorns.

Secondly, I can actually grow tulips. You give me a flower that comes from a bulb and I am all over that. Anything else? Dies a quick, yet painful death.

And lastly, they are one of the first flowers to signify the end of winter and the start of spring. Now you all know I am not a fan of the heat or summer (or really the sun for that matter) but after a long dreary winter, we can all use a little color, can we not? And how could you not love that?

There many more like these in the Tulip Festival category in the gallery if you are interested. Enjoy!

The Bitch Factor

I am feeling like a total bitch today. People are annoying me. I don’t want to talk to anyone. And I just want to be left alone, ok? On the positive side, it’s all happening in my head. People come up to me and start talking and I’m smiling and nodding, but in my head is this running commentary of bitchiness:

“Ok….why are you telling me this?”
“Uh-huh. Yeah. I get it. Now can you go?”
“Hi. Did ya see that I was sitting here peacefully reading my email? See how I’m barely looking up when you talk? Can you take a hint?”

Yeah, you all want to me MY friend, now dontcha? I knew it.

Well at least we got that outta the way

I’ve done it. It’s not even May yet and I’ve gotten my first sunburn of the season. Don’t worry, for all of you worried about skin cancer or nasty peeling, it’s a mild one. But it is kinda nice to know I got the first one out of the way.

I am actually quite embarrassed about it. I am usually very good about protecting my oh-so-fair skin, but it was a complete accident. And it caught me quite of guard. I guess I am going to have to start wearing sun screen over my entire body in the off chance I decide to just start removing my clothing. Which was kind of what happened….

See, my mom was in town on Sunday and setting my marks high for being the favorite daughter, I always try to show my mom a good time. (No, this is not why I was removing my clothing, so shuuuush.) Knowing the weather was going to be fabulous, Simeon and I decided to take my mom to the Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival. And it did not disappoint. The weather was glorious, but there was a chilly breeze, so I donned a sweatshirt. However, when we got there and started walking around I quickly got warm and removed said sweatshirt. Leaving my poor excuse for skin exposed to the sun. I actually felt quite bad blinding all those people like I did. But if felt wonderful. (The sun, that is, not the people-blinding.)

Simeon, my mom, and I hiked through the fields, took a ton of pictures (which I will post later when my home computer stops throwing temper-tantrums anytime I try to unload my camera), and enjoyed the lovely treats that come with a fair atmosphere. Simeon eyed the elephant ears on the way in and (in true motherly fashion) my mom and I told him if he was good he could have one on the way out. With something like that dangling in front of him, he behaved like an angel! Then once we stood in line, I realized they had other glorious treats. So to reward myself for all the hiking and being out in the fresh air, I enjoyed a chocolate-dipped frozen cheesecake. You know, for all the calcium.

Things I learned today

…that the secret to making toddlers love you is keeping a baggie of animal crackers hidden in your desk drawer.

…that when your friend’s ringtone is set to “My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard” it will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

…that Skinny Cow’s Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream Sandwhiches are fabulous. To. Die. For.

…that sometimes when a site warns you the link they are mentioning contains spoilers, sometimes it really isn’t worth all the internal stife of deciding whether you really want to know or keep it a surprise, because clicking that link will tell you NOTHING.

Hoppy Easter

Another Easter has come and gone and the husband didn’t let me get out my Easter decorations. *sigh* So I was happy we were celebrating Easter at my mom’s house where decorations were sure to be everywhere.

All my siblings, along with their spouses, or children or friends, gathered at my mom’s for our traditional Easter celebration. Everyone dressed in their Springy best, giggling from a sugar high, and strategizing for the egg hunt.

Any gathering in my family is good for at least one beating (Darcie whacked me on the butt with a HUGE plastic spoon), one outburst (Simeon yelled at his father for throwing eggs in the house–how’s that for backwards?), one little kid that no one really knows what they are saying (Ben kept talking excitedly to Greg who just nodded and said “Yeah!” a lot because he had no idea what his own child was yammering on about) and one cake that gets spit on when the candles are blown out (Was it Greg? Was it Ben? Neither will claim ownership–but I think they both look guilty).

By the end of the day, everyone was full, tired, and ready to go home. But you better believe we are already gearing up for the next gathering. I mean, who can really be happy without the chaos of family gatherings hiding just around the corner?

There are a bunch more silly pictures in the Easter 2006 category in the gallery. Enjoy!

Chest Issues

I am just going to warn you all, I am going to be writing about my breasts. And for the few men out there who read this (and you know who you are) I swear it is not in a way you want to hear. Ok, you have been warned.

For those of you who know me, or have taken a stroll through the photo gallery, you know that I am not, shall we say, lacking in the boob department. Quite the opposite in fact. Have been since puberty. (Yes, even when I was skinny as a rail, I was stacked.) It’s good fun for the husband, and at times I have really felt blessed for my ample bosom.

Until last night.

Last night I swear I almost cut the damn things off. I was changing out of my gym clothes into pajamas, when pain like no other struck me. I removed my yoga tank with the bra attached and proceeded to pull off my sports bra (yeah, when the girls are MY size, you need two bras– just another fun point). Then my bazookas were left unsupported and felt like they were made of steel. Or iron. Or whatever the heaviest metal is, that is what it felt like. I think I just got used to all the extra-exercise-required-support and that, combined with pre-menstrual tenderness, pushed me over the edge.

I seriously had to hold my ta-ta’s with my arm while I proceeded to undress. My knockers could not go unsupported for longer that five seconds without feeling like the sheer weight of themselves would tear them from my body. I kid you not. Ouch!

Sim was watching the whole thing in agonizing horror, totally powerless to help his whining wife with the pain. I quickly, but carefully, jumped into bed to relieve the burdens of gravity and sighed with relief. So. Not. Fun. But all this does is further support the fact that once I have finished having babies, and my boobs are no longer a means of food production, and the physical damage of breastfeeding has taken it’s toll (which can be quite lovely I have heard), I am totally planning to have my knockers reduced. Don’t think I won’t ask the doc to bring ’em back up to where they used to be. Ya know, while he’s in there.

Day at the Zoo

I made it to the zoo. And it was wonderful. Everything I hoped it would be. Friday afternoon Heather and I packed up the munchkins and headed out to see all the glorious animals.

We ventured along the winding paths that lead from the “Artic” or to the “Rainforest.” We hiked the steep terrain leading from one animal to the next surrounded by giggling, excited children anxious to peak through the bars at the next exhibit.

But somewhere along the line, I think we joined them. Despite the fact that we were pushing a sleeping Emery, or making sure Lindsay didn’t get too far ahead of us, I think Heather and I had just as much fun as the kids.

As we encountered the photo opportunities of Lindsay “petting” the animals through the glass, or posing on animal statues, or even animals just too cute to ignore, Lindsay started wanted to “take pit-chers, too.”

Enjoy the rest of the fun pictures from our day at the zoo!

“Wake up cousin! We’re going to the zoo!”

Heather just IMed me and asked me if I wanted to go to the zoo with her and the kids today. She couldn’t see me, but my eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. I just love the zoo. It is one of the rare things that truly makes me feel like a kid again. The pure innocence of a place so filled with intrigue, excitement and energy.

Sure, by the time we are done, the energy will most likely be gone, but the memories are there forever. Hopefully this time I will have my trusty camera along for the trip and you can all share in my adventures as well.

So stay tuned. Weather permitting; I am going to the zoo today! And if I do, there are gonna be pictures to prove it.

Things I learned during dinner last night

…that I still don’t like brussel sprouts. Not even the baby ones.

…that I do, however, enjoy a well barbequed steak. Mmmmmm. Red meat.

…that multi-vitamins are SO out; it’s all about the poly-vitamins.

…that Europeans have finally beaten us Americans at becoming truly lazy. Particularly when it comes to parking cars.

…that a toddler will stand in the middle of a room and flail his arms like a falling bird when he randomly starts pushing buttons on the TV and static blares from the speakers.

…that no matter how hard adults try, we can make anything dirty. Anything.

…that if the ladies want to have a conversation without the men, all we have to do is look directly at each other and say, “So…” and the men will quickly disappear.

…that anything in sign language can be used as an insult if the other person doesn’t know what you are saying, specifically “train.”