A Letter: Thirty-six Months

Dear Ana,
Last week you turned three. THREE. I don’t even know how it happened. I know it’s a total cliché, but it seems like you were just born yesterday. Yet it’s almost impossible to remember life without you in it. But why would I want to? Ever since you were born my life has had meaning and purpose. Before I was just going through the motions and now I get to be ANA’S MOM. I could not be more proud to carry that title.


Now that you are a three year old, we have noticed several little “disturbances” in your otherwise mellow personality. Now every little thing that happens is either the BEST thing that has ever happened to you [insert high-pitched squeal here] or it is the equivalent of having one of your limbs removed. With dull scissors. Basically you are an emotional roller coaster of unpredictability. This is nothing new to you, however, as you are constantly telling us about your current emotional state wearing your mood rings. You are always saying overly dramatic things like, “you hurt my feelings! That breaks my heart!” or “when Daddy talks to me I burst into tears!”


Yet, you can be the sweetest thing ever. You have so much love in your heart that you can’t bear to keep it to yourself. You are always whispering, “I have a new secret…I love you forever and ever and always.” Or shouting, “I love you!” to all of our friends and family. You are filled with compassion and honest sincerity that is so refreshing in someone your age. When you apologize, you say things like, “I’m sorry I was bad earlier. I’m sorry we were having a fight.” Or, “I’m sorry for being mean. Can we be friends again?”


Something that isn’t new, or shocking in the least, is that you are still totally obsessed with babies. There isn’t a day that goes by when you don’t ask me if you can have a baby sister or brother. It breaks my heart to see how hopeful you get when we are talking with one of our numerous pregnant friends and you overhear us discussing babies. You ask, “Mama, are you gonna have a baby now?” Then I say, “No, sweetie. She is going to have a baby.” You always reply, “But Mama, I want you to have a baby in your belly.” I know, Ana. Me too.


Babies have been quite the topic around here lately and, naturally, you are getting caught up in it as well. You are insistent that I am going to have a baby SOON. Scratch that, you think I am going to have BABIES. Plural. You keep talking about how I am going to have a boy AND a girl. Then you are quick to explain to me “that means twins, Mama.” I am convinced that you got this idea from Dora, because when she became a big sister her Mami had twins. Yep, you guessed it: a boy and a girl. So I think it’s entertaining and cute. Your Daddy, on the other hand, is terrified.


I didn’t think it was possible, but in the last month you have gotten even more girly. You are always putting on lip gloss in the vanity mirror, pretending to do your make-up or donning some fancy dress-up outfit. Your room is filled with princesses and fairies, crowns and tiaras (you informed me those are, in fact, different), necklaces and bracelets, and every little thing a tiny princess requires in her royal chambers.




We have a battle every morning about what you are going to wear that day and it always starts with you saying, “I want to wear a dress…with no sleeves, no pants, no socks and no shoes.” And since it is practically winter (last week we had temperature in the TEENS! It was BELOW freezing!) I am forced to remind you that you must wear some type of clothing covering every part of your body. I am partial to letting you pick out your dress and then having you add leggings/pants/tights and a sweater/jacket. But even this can become a battle of the wills. In fact, this morning you cried for five minutes because I made you wear leggings under your dress. Your reason why you shouldn’t have to wear pants? Because, and I quote, “Taylor Swift doesn’t wear pants!!”


Last weekend we had your big birthday party. We had it at Westside Dance and Gymnastics Academy. It was a great party and you got to spend the entire time bouncing around, surrounded by all your best friends and family. It was the ultimate day for you, which was exactly the point. To make the day more special, I let you help me pick out all the decorations and your cake. Naturally, you picked the Disney Princess decorations and requested that I make you a Belle (from Beauty and the Beast) cake. After scouring the Internet for inspiration, and the baking and party stores for supplies, with your Father’s help, I made your dream a reality. All the hard work paid off when I saw the look of awe and wonder in your eyes. For that moment, I was Supermom and I could make all your dreams come true. I promise, as long as you keep looking at me like that, I will do my best to never let you down.




Oh my sweet little princess. What else is there to say? There are only so many ways I can tell you that you are amazing. Intelligent. Wonderful. Beautiful. You never fail to make me smile. Like when I walk into a room to discover a huge mess and when I ask you about it, you say, “I think my brother did it.” I can’t be mad at you, but instead I laugh out loud at your creativity and then we work together to clean up the disaster. Thank you for always giving me good-night kisses, for whispering “I love you, Mama” in my ear, for wrapping your arms around my neck in a hug that never fails to takes my breath away. Thank you for helping me look forward to each day, for causing me to get out of bed every morning with a smile, for making me laugh until I cry. Thank you for making the last three years the best years of my life. I love you, Ana.


All my love,
Mama

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