How to amuse me:
Come upstairs after being quarantined to the family room with the other husband, the children, and the dogs while I was hosting a party upstairs and murmur, “Barney is so annoying.” I instantly ask what he did when it suddenly becomes clear you are talking about the purple dinosaur Barney not our friend Barney. Further proving I married the right man.
How to annoy me:
Hit your stapler with the force you would hit an enemy. You know, where you actually wind up to generate more power. Come on, is that really necessary? I think they heard you all the way down the hall!
How to amuse me:
Tell me that you think the hallway smells like mothballs and proceed to tell me this dirty joke:
Have you ever smelled moth balls?
Yes.
How did you get their little legs apart?
How to annoy me:
Meet my sister, Jeni, and ask if she is my younger sister. Ummm, she is eight years OLDER than me. She has an 11-year-old child. Do I look like I could have an 11-year-old child? Wait. Don’t answer that…
How to amuse me:
Ask me if I knew that a couple of our friends are getting “married” at our house tonight, in an attempt to plan an elaborate April Fool’s Day hoax. Confirming that some of our friends really have too much time on their hands.
Who asked if you were older than Jeni??? Must have been on a day when she was wearing a baseball cap and acting zaney; and you were dressed all professional and acting more mature?
Oh my god that moth balls thing is too funny! I’ll have to remember that one, it caters to my sick sense of humor! 😉