Do you ever have days where you just feel like you don’t matter? Like you don’t have any real friends? Like people take you for granted and just don’t want the same thing from you as you do from them?
Ughhh. I have been feeling that way lately. Every time I log into my admin to blog, I just keep thinking about all these sad, pathetic, and often mean, things I want to say, so I log out, opting to say nothing instead. But I decided today it is obviously something I MUST put out there, to vent, if you will, or I may never blog anything happy or fun again.
I really value my friends. I think they are an essential part of life. We need them for fun, for support, for strength, for advice, and for smiles. But lately I have been feeling kind of neglected. I realize everyone is busy and has their own lives, but I wonder why so many of my friends don’t feel the need to call, or email, or drop by, or even IM. I don’t think I’m being clingy or desperate or insecure. I just wonder why, what comes so easy to me, is so hard for other people.
I like to think I am pretty generous. I have weekly dinners in which all my friends are invited to come over. No one needs to bring anything but themselves. When I see something in the store that makes me think of a friend of mine, I instantly buy it and give it with a card reading, “Just because.” I send greeting cards. I write thoughtful emails of, “Just thinking of you” or “Just making sure you are ok.” But I don’t think I have ever really gotten anything like that in return. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t do these things expecting anything back or to make someone feel obligated. I just don’t understand how I could never have received any of these thing. It mystifies me.
*Sigh* I guess that is just the way things are. People will be who they are and that is that. I really should learn to lower my standards so I am not constantly disappointed in life, right? I mean, am I asking too much here? I was always raised to treat people as I would like to be treated. So does that mean they are treating me how they want to be treated? I just don’t understand….
**UPDATED** I just got an forward from my friend Lisa P that actually brought a smile to my face and lifted me out of my self-pity. Here are some of the highlights:
I like you because of who you are to me. A true friend…
A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “We screwed up! But I am proud to be your friend!”…
You are my friend and I am honored.
Hi 🙂 Thank you, I am so excited too – and I am so anxiously awaiting the baby, but it won’t be here until late March/early April!
OH! Another baby in the realm of Simzgirl???? How delightful!
Hi Erin, I’m Heather’s MIL.
The best days are when babies are born…
Oh girl, do I ever know what you mean. I was, and continue to be, FLOORED by some "friends" reactions to my pregnancy, the happiest, most special time of my life – these so called "friends" seem to disappear. I totally feel you on this one.
Carrie, you are the best! You take such good care of me. I’m sorry that you are feeling neglected, but you should know that Wednesday nights are just about my favorite part of the week!
I shudder to think where I’d be without you and Sim watching out for me. Thank you for everything you do, and I hope you know just how much appreciation and admiration come from my little corner of the world to you!
Oh Carrie. I’m sorry you’re feeling low. It is very hard to be so giving and not have it acknowledged in some way. Unfortunately, expect that to continue, that’s how life is. BUT don’t change who you are; a very special, caring woman.
Hope you got together with Heather and the kids. Yeah, KIDS, plural! Amazing!!!
Oh sweetie, I’m sorry you’re feeling so neglected. I love you so much, and you have been giving far more in our relationship than I’ve been giving lately. That card you sent me last week about missing me made me cry, and Barney couldn’t understand why I was so touched that you sent me something like that, just because. Just because that’s who you are. You’re amazing and generous, thoughtful and caring. You deserve better than I’ve been giving you, and now that things are settling down with the new munchkin and all and I’m not suffering from sleep deprivation, I am definitely going to try and call and email more often. I miss our IM chats in the mornings… God I wish I lived closer. But hey, I’ll call you today because I’m here! In Portland! And we really want to see you! We love you and hope your spirits pick up today!